The odds of this happening in a entire lifetime is actually 0.0000000000000000000001 let’s just say you can only find it a HBO production but seems I am actually living it now but why me of all people am damn sure this is what blessing in disguise is called in the sexual situations. So now am calling her while my phone is dead can’t you see the lord is Good 9ja network lasan…. “See babe pick up the call it might be MTN doing their normal shit”……”Ife I don’t use MTN cmon weren’t you the one who recharged me 1k for sub last night” EMI keh 1k me that is on MTN WhatsApp plan for like two weeks now how did I get to sub for her….. At last have been used yeepa!! Shey it’s not that I just had a marathon sex with a spirit being and my friend tommy used to tell me that there is every probability I go back through the same hole I came into this world from Chai am finished!!!. The way my heart started beating ehn them Southafricans beats can’t be as fast as it. I Sha summon courage and said “hollup I think there’s a mix up here” right now she had already picked up the call and with the looks on her face she also realized she just shared her bed with a complete stranger. Now I understood the whole Dayo calling and me looking different than the picture that was sent to her all the loop holes I actually thought was she being promiscuous were actually meant for another guy and while we were at work baba had been standing all through at the same spot where I stood waiting for her To come pick him up and after staying over an hour there he had already gone back to his place… Most fucked up part the dude came all the way from Owo Owo loun loun..!!! That’s like a mini travelling inside Ondo state to my school What a bad market for the dude. She didn’t even have time to talk to me cos she was busy on the phone begging this dude….right there she cooked up the greatest lie of the century, telling him a friend of hers went home for medical checkup and SOS beeped her that she should represent her in a chemistry practical class that was going to be a test and no students allowed to go in with their phones ……so I just sat still on the bed contemplating whether to dress up to leave or dress up and sit still but I don’t know how any of those two would be interpreted by a lady that just gave her cookies to a guy who ate it without table manners and from the way her convo was going with this guy I knew this guy must have been a financial pillar for this girl in a very big way and with the feint replies of the guy I could hear omo mehn the guy is feeling so scammed, whereas me on the other hand was trying to give my options a try as I stood up acting like I was looking for something only to hear “not so fast….!!”… “Not you babe I was talking to my roommate, okay you know what let me make it up to you I would come over to your place on Wednesday” beneath my breath I was like Iya today is Friday na you can actually go tomorrow no class you ain’t doing anything na….see me forgetting that Iya just went through a divine experience
She hung up and she stood right in front of me and rushing out of her mouth were two words that have ruined so many relationships “START TALKING” of which I better did or else I don’t know what this lady has in plans for me… So I explained how I came in search of a Bimpe I have never met and blah blah how she told to stop at where I stopped and she would wait outside her villa and all. Thank God she was very understanding and she immediately realize she was mostly at fault probably if she hadn’t being way over her heads we could probably have found out it was a mismatch date.. Fuck up Fuck Fuck!!! That’s what she kept saying as she walked over to her trolley and brought out something like an after pill swallowed it without water as she sat down on one of the chairs…. Now I don’t know what to say we were both stark naked… “You really should be on your way now… You know right?” …..while dressing up I tried to be the caring guy that you don’t expect a fuck boy to be “you know I really didn’t know you weren’t the person I was to meet I swear if I had known I would have……” cutting in “abeg abeg wear your cloth and leave save the explanation for yourself….. Just go don’t even say a word”…..
I was fully dressed and ready to leave when I tried being a gentleman only for her to tell me she was just been nice that if I don’t get to leave that moment she was gonna cry out that I raped her, the looks on her face shows it’s something she could do and from the way we did go about the sex it would be very hard for me to convince people who would rush down there especially her neighbors that what we had was consensual because am sure she must have never lost it the way I made her do and right now am not ready to face the school security unit on argument of this nature you can never win so off I left. What I experienced next was something I knew I was going to face from the moment she made her first loud noise of yes yes yes!!! While I was thrusting…. Right outside the villa sat her neighbors and some other people I know must have either heard the loud cries or been told about it… It’s going to take me 30secs to walk outta their sight but that 30secs might be the longest 4hours of my life, the moment I was exiting the passage they all went silent like your principal showing up during a free period in secondary school… You could hear the steps of a spider that’s how silent it was until one cray dude said “Bros na you oo” causing everyone to burst into laughter and some dropping some ajasa that I so much cared less about….
“Finally outta their sight I put on my phone only to receive a message from the real Bimpe apologizing that we would meet some other day that she had an impromptu test she had to go for and she was so sorry she disappointed me that maybe we make the appointment next week Friday…..Laughing out loud I said to myself another knack appointment has held Iya down …. *”swwwuuuuup! swuuppp!! Bike man permanent site Jae”*